


Dazed and Confused

by StarryJohnny



Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band), ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bottom San, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Making Out, Matchmaker Byeongkwan, Mentioned Threesome, Top San, a fair amount of cussing, and it gets p explicit but it's pretty vanilla, bottom sehyoon, kinda ?, reader is bk's gf, san is just a confused baby, slight angst, top sehyoon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:14:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23722201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarryJohnny/pseuds/StarryJohnny
Summary: From: Sehyoon - 1. I think I have a crush and 2. I took said crushes virginity and I think I finally understand religion.Byeongkwan didn’t think highly of his smarts, but it didn’t take an Einstein to connect the two dots. Sehyoon and San, two of his best friends, had fucked.
Relationships: Kim Byeongkwan / Reader, Kim Sehyoon | Wow / Choi San
Kudos: 19





	1. Adore

**Author's Note:**

> Most of the titles are songs from a playlist I made thinking about this, so feel free to give it a listen while reading if you'd like ~ Enjoy !  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2gGKjyN21G5xBrjiLMcLiU?si=pze53v1dQ3mZe7nwX0obsQ

_Fuck_ , San thought as the door closed behind Byeongkwan and his girlfriend. The two of them stayed the night with San after their threesome, and while San _should_ have been perfectly okay and normal, he couldn’t stop thinking about a kiss. Not the fact that he just had a threesome, but a fucking kiss. He had come to terms with the fact that men were attractive a long time ago, but when Byeongkwan kissed his neck? That was different, somehow. San didn’t really know what came over him when he asked bk to touch him, he just knew that he really wanted it, for whatever reason.

San pulled out his phone and texted the only person he knew to in this situation: Sehyoon.

_Come over?_

Sehyoon texted back almost immediately.

_Sure, but is everything ok?_

San reassured him that it was, he just wanted to hang out, and Sehyoon said he’d be there in 30. Sehyoon kept to his word and showed up almost exactly 30 minutes later, and though San both did and didn’t want it to, the conversation eventually drifted to the night prior.

“How was it?” Sehyoon asked him.

San felt his palms get sweaty, but he knew Sehyoon wouldn’t judge him, plus even if he would have it’s not like San’s nervous rambling could’ve stopped him from saying anything.

“It was good. Also think I may like guys.”

San avoided eye contact, but Sehyoon, classic Sehyoon, didn’t miss a beat.

“Want me to help you find out?”

***

Weeks passed and San rolled Sehyoon’s question over in his head. He was pretty sure he was just kidding, but what if he wasn’t? What if he really meant it? San wouldn’t put it past him, but also what the fuck. The first time Sehyoon asked San just laughed it off and quickly changed the subject but… what if he _did_ want Sehyoon to help him find out?

Almost precisely three weeks after their initial conversation, it was Saturday night and San was laid up in bed, not able to sleep. 2am was too late, much too late to be making any sorts of decisions, let alone one like this, but San felt tired and confused and most importantly tired of _being_ confused and texted Sehyoon.

_Were you serious about what you asked a few weeks okay? About helping me?_

San knew the other boy was awake because he’d just sent him a snapchat, so he threw his phone under his pillow and waited anxiously for a reply. Thankfully, Sehyoon didn’t keep him waiting.

_With the liking guys thing? Because if so, yes ; )_

San wanted to throw his friend, his phone, and the stupid winky face out the window but was also extremely relieved, and he may or may not have been feeling weird butterflies in his stomach. Before San could reply, Sehyoon sent another text.

_Wanna try tomorrow?_

San’s tired pulse quickened, not expecting it to be so soon. But no time like the present, right?

_Uhhsureyeah_

Sehyoon invited him over to his apartment, a small, but not shared, place not far from San’s.

_See you tomorrow, baby!_

***

Byeongkwan was just trying to enjoy his Sunday night. He had finished his work for the weekend and was just trying to unwind before the week started again, but then his phone dinged. It was from San. After the threesome, the three of them stayed close, though not hooking up again, but Byeongkwan and San became especially fast friends.

_Kwannie_

_Kwannie_

_KWANNIE_

_Guess what_

He went to text back, but San wasn’t giving him any time.

_I lost my virginity like 2 hours ago !! goditwassogood_

Staring at his phone in confusion, Byeongkwan thought back to the weeks before where he was 100% sure he had his whole dick inside his girlfriend.

_…. You literally fucked my girlfriend in front of me? Like three weeks ago?_

_No, you dumbass_ , San replied. _My GAY virginity_

Byeongkwan choked on his water. Not that he was necessarily surprised San was into guys, he definitely seemed affected enough when he sucked on his neck, but it was still somewhat unexpected.

_Asldkfh congratulations?_

At almost the same time that Byeongkwan sent his reply, a text from Sehyoon came in too. He was happy, him and Sehyoon usually texted a lot but he had been a little MIA that day, so he opened it quickly. His jaw practically dislocated when he opened the text.

_1: I think I have a crush and 2: I took said crushes virginity and I think I finally understand religion._

Byeongkwan didn’t think highly of his smarts, but it didn’t take an Einstein to connect the two dots. Sehyoon and San, two of his best friends, had fucked. Byeongkwan, being the ever-loyal best friend he is though, didn’t say anything to either of them. He didn’t want to embarrass anyone, especially if they were still together, so he kept quiet and played dumb.

_Kim sehyoon ??? has a crush ??_

_Shut up_ , the next text from Sehyoon read. _Listen dude i mean i thought he was cute before but like he was so obedient and cute and giggly and,,, bk i made him BLUSH. He had his whole dick in me and I made HIM blush. I think he may be perfect._

His phone buzzed again, a text from San popping up on the screen. Bk sent a teasing reply to Sehyoon for being so whipped someone after having sex one time (though he knew San and Sehyoon’s history, Sehyoon didn’t know that he knew it was San and if he didn’t give him shit about it it’d be suspicious), and checked the text from San. It was a voice memo.

_Sorry for the voice memo and half the words that are about to come out of my mouth, but I just went out to get us food and wanted to tell you about it and didn’t want to text._

San was talking fast, but Byeongkwan did his best to follow.

_So like he tried fucking me first which like did not go well at all but THEN he let me try and fuck him which thankfully turns out to not be so different mechanically from fucking a girl but he was still being so sweet and talking me through it and I made him cum !! Kwannie I fucked a guy for the first time and made him cum !! he kept praising me and calling me a good boy and I think I’m in love. Just kidding. Maybe._

The audio cut off, but another one came after it.

_And like don’t get me wrong, girls? Really fucking hot? Pussy? Love that shit. But it was so different with him, Kwan._

San’s voice softened towards the end of the last sentence, and Bk couldn’t help but smile a little bit. San was so sweet, but his appearance and demeanor made it easy for people to kind of use him and lose him, even by hook up standards.

_He just really paid so much attention to me and actually like, kept me around and kissed me afterwards and gave me time to chill out instead of automatically kicking me out of the bed. It was nice._

Bk laughed to himself, thinking of how utterly whipped for each other they are but neither of them probably notices. He sent San a text back, congratulating him for real this time, and giving him the gentle encouragement that he shouldn’t make it a one-time thing with this guy if it was really that good.

He finally checks Sehyoon’s texts, of which he had sent a few while Bk was listening to San. Sehyoon had completely ignored Bk’s teasing, continuing to go on about this “mystery” virgin.

_His dick was so pretty and every time I told him how good he was making me feel he’d blush and giggle but also go a little harder and god I’ve never seen anyone so cute and so sexy_

_And he gives the b e s t hickeys, bk. Look at this._

Attached was a picture of somewhere on Sehyoon’s body, bk thought it was his chest but honestly it could have been anywhere, with a pretty purple mark on it.

_He left some on my thighs too and usually I’d be mad because now I can’t wear shorts but suffering in pants is well worth the price of feeling his lips on me_

_Fuck_

_Fuck bk im thinking about it again and getting hard what is THIS_

Bk laughed at his friend’s suffering, recalling how much Sehyoon teased him for being so whipped for his girlfriend and texting him freaking out after their first kiss and first time. Finally, Bk thought, the tables had turned.

_That is really pretty and also it’s called having feelings for someone. Have fun! :D_

Byeongkwan spent the rest of the night getting somewhat sporadic texts from San and Sehyoon, each one containing somehow even more details than the last. Byeongkwan wasn’t sure how he was going to look at Sehyoon and San again the same. Despite seeing them both naked before, hearing about their sex life with other people in such graphic detail somehow seemed different. But he was sure about one thing and that was that he’d get the two of them to see they both had feelings for each other because he couldn’t deal with hearing about their mutual pining for months.


	2. Crush Culture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sehyoon just needed to get a cut checked out and of course San was working.

“If you go to the third room on the left someone will be right in to see you,” the receptionist said, motioning down the hall.

Sehyoon was at health services, swinging by after his last class because he got a cut on his foot during dance class last week and it started getting pink around the edges, and his paranoid ass couldn’t stop thinking it was getting infected. After all, it’s not like the floor of the studio is exactly clean. He smiles at the receptionist and gives a slight nod, going down to the door with a number six hanging above it, closing the door behind him and sitting on the table, twiddling with his fingers.

He spotted the small table in the corner of the room with a few baskets on it filled with things like hand sanitizer, tampons, and condoms, with a sign reading “take one!” in front of them. He stopped and looked at the door for a second before deciding to get up and grab “one” (read three) condom to shove in his pocket. Seeing them made him think of the last time he’d used one, flashes of San’s lips and body and moans going through his head. It’d been almost a week since the two had hooked up and it hadn’t been weird necessarily, but Sehyoon would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t think about kissing him, and more, almost every time he saw his best friend now.

As Sehyoon’s going back to sit down, the door opens and Sehyoon’s knees almost give out when he sees who it is. He forgot he was working today.

“Sehyoon?” San asked, closing the door behind him. “Is everything okay?”

Sehyoon really, _really,_ didn’t want to admit it, but San looked so cute with that dumb, concerned look on his face. Not to mention how good he looked in his pretty white coat with his hair pushed back and his dumb glasses he likes to wear to work because he says he feels like people will take him more seriously and –

“Sehyoon? Helllooo? Anything going on up there?” San was waving his hand in front of Sehyoon’s face, giggling at how zoned out Sehyoon apparently was.

“Yeah, sorry I’m just tired!” Sehyoon said, trying to cover up for his ridiculous behavior. “I’m just here for my foot,” he said, pointing down. “Dance injury.”

“Ah,” San nodded knowingly, having had his fair share of those during his life, too. “Well, if you just wanna tell me what’s going on I’ll write it down and give it to the real doctor so he can help you.”

He sat down across from Sehyoon, spreading his legs an unnecessary amount if you asked him, and Sehyoon gave him a quick recount. San clicked his pen when he was done writing and stood up, walking to leave.

“The doctor should be in soon; I hope everything’s okay, babe.”

Sehyoon’s heart feels like it’s going 1000 miles per hour, and San’s feels like it just dropped out of his ass. San whipped around, facing Sehyoon again, trying to cover up his mishap.

“Did I say babe? I meant baby! My next patient I’m seeing is pregnant, so you know I hope everything’s okay… With the baby, you know? Of the next patient. The one I have to go see. Now. See you later!” San turned back around, quick enough to leave Sehyoon wondering if he was imagining the blush on his cheeks, and practically ran out the door.

The doctor did come in a few minutes later, but honestly everything he said went in on ear and out the other. Sehyoon just kept thinking about how hot San looked and then how cute he looked when he got all flustered and the way his voice sounded when he called him “babe,” despite his insistence that he didn’t. Sehyoon gets sent home with a cream and some bandaids and assumes he’s smart enough to figure it out.

Assuming never works out well though, and it was now Saturday afternoon, almost three days later and the cut looked exactly the same. While three days wasn’t really that long, the fact that he definitely didn’t remember a single thing the doctor said wasn’t helping his paranoia. While debating on what to do, a text from San came in on Sehyoon’s phone and he took it as a sign from God. San was just texting about this anime Sehyoon had told him to watch, so they talked about that for a while (San was liking it much to Sehyoon’s satisfaction since it had taken him months to actually watch it), before Sehyoon asks.

_Sehni: hey could you look at my chart when you go into work Monday? Lmao I was brain dead that day and totally forgot what the doctor said I think im doing something wrong_

_Sannie ~: it’s actually all on a database online. I can access it on my laptop if you want me to come over and go over it with you?_

Sehyoon’s heart does the stupid fluttering thing it seems to only do for San, and he smiles at his phone like a middle schooler texting their crush about homework. He’s willing to take any opportunity to have him over though, so he texts back a quick “sure” and San says he’ll be over within the hour. Sehyoon takes the chance to take a quick shower and put on actual clothes, trying to look as casual as possible when San comes over.

There’s a knock and Sehyoon yells “come in!” grabbing his phone and trying to make it look like he was just lounging and definitely not waiting for him. San comes and sits beside him on his couch, putting his laptop on the table. He teases Sehyoon for being so paranoid but pulls up his file anyway.

“So how many times a day have you been using it?”

“One?” Sehyoon says, trying to keep his mind off their thighs touching.

“Well that’s your problem Sehni, you’re supposed to use it twice. You were really out of it that day, huh?”

San looked at Sehyoon, his eyes soft despite his teasing nature, and Sehyoon noticed just how much of his chest his button up showed.

“How was your patient’s baby?” He asked, trying to change the subject.

San’s face turned confused, “What?”

Sehyoon got a sudden wave of confidence, the confirmation that San was indeed poorly lying through his teeth about that whole thing giving him the push that he needed. He put his hand on San’s thigh, scooting closer.

“You said you had a patient with a baby, and you were just so preoccupied with that that you accidentally called me babe. Or was that all just a bunch of bullshit so you wouldn’t be embarrassed?”

San didn’t say anything, but his blush and puppy eyes said enough. Sehyoon leans forward and kisses him, putting a hand on the back of his neck and pulling him close. They hadn’t kissed since the night they hooked up, and it was clear by how quickly the kiss got heated that they’d been missing each other a lot more than they let on. San wrapped his arms around Sehyoon, grabbing a fistful of his shirt and whining when Sehyoon bit his lip.

Sehyoon easily pushed San on his back so he was laying on the couch, and he quickly got to work unbuttoning the few buttons San actually had done up.

“You looked so fucking good at work the other day, baby,” he said, taking his lips off the other boy’s and planting them on his neck instead. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. I couldn’t listen to anything the doctor said because I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I wanted to suck you off in that room instead.”

San whines at the words, specifically at the pet name. It didn’t take Sehyoon long to figure out San liked being called “baby” and “baby boy”, and he wasn’t afraid to use it to his advantage, which San very much both appreciated and resented because Sehyoon already knew how easily to make him melt.

Sehyoon’s hands roamed San’s bare chest and sides and stomach, touching every inch of skin he could, and San dug his fingernails into Sehyoon’s back as he left bites and kisses all over his neck and collarbones. San had received enough hickeys in his life to know that Sehyoon was definitely kissing hard enough to leave them in places where people could see, but he couldn’t bring himself to make him stop.

“Fuck, Sehni,” he moaned, tugging at Sehyoon’s hair, and arching his back as he left a mark on a particularly sensitive spot behind his ear. “please fuck me.”

Now that definitely caught Sehyoon off guard. It didn’t necessarily go great last time, so he was surprised when San seemed so desperate for it. He stopped kissing San and he complained, but Sehyoon needed to make sure he was serious and not just saying it for the sake of the moment.

“Are you serious? Like 100% you ACTUALLY want that and not just asking because you’re horny?”

San laughs, “well I mean I am horny, but I still actually want it,” he said, diverting his eyes from Sehyoon. “If that’s not something you wanna try then though- “

Sehyoon cuts him off with a kiss, assuring him that he does want to try he was just surprised. San smiles and Sehyoon insists they go to the bedroom.

Sehyoon grabs the lube and a condom from one of his drawers before stripping, instructing San to do the same.

“Wanna lie on your back?”

San nods and lays down, feeling weirdly exposed and nervous.

“Can we go kinda slow?” He asks, his voice quiet. “I prepped a little because I hoped something would happen but…”

Sehyoon’s stomach does backflips at how cute he is, and he kisses him while reassuring him they can go as slow as he needs, not wanting a repeat of how much it hurt the first time. San smiles at him, and Sehyoon swears for a moment that he’s never seen anything more beautiful before immediately pushing the thought away. Instead, he gently pushes San’s legs back, asking him to hold them there while he puts lube on his fingers. Sehyoons rubs the lube on his fingers a little, trying to warm it up as much as he can before inserting one of his fingers, watching San carefully for any signs of discomfort.

“You okay?” he asks, rubbing one of his thighs with his free hand.

“Perfect,” San says.

Sehyoon spends some time fingering him with just the one finger, rubbing his thigh and giving little kisses on his ass to try and relax him before adding more lube and another finger. San’s breath hitches at the addition, but in a good way, and he grips the sheets beside him. Sehyoon starts curling his fingers inside him and San starts letting soft curses and moans slip out and Sehyoon swears no one’s moans have affected him like this. If it wasn’t San’s first time, he’d already be fucking him hard and fast at this point. He adds a third finger and San has to ask him to stop for a second, just so he can get used to being so full before he starts moving them again. Sehyoon takes the time to leave another mark on the back of San’s thigh and when he starts fucking him again, it isn’t long before San’s asking for more.

“Sehni? I think I’m ready?” he asks, unsure of if he’s actually ready but completely sure he hopes he is because all he wants right now is for Sehyoon’s cock to finally be inside him.

“Let me know if I need to stop okay?”

San nods and waits as Sehyoon rolls on the condoms and adds a generous amount of lube. He kisses San as he enters him, reaching for his hand before he really realizes what he’s doing. San whines into Sehyoon’s mouth and grips his hand tighter as he goes all the way in, staying still before slowly pulling out a little to start fucking him. San feels so good around him that Sehyoon can’t help but let out a moan, praising San for taking him so well.

San’s telling him to keep going, to go faster, and Sehyoon obliges, trying not to get too carried away. He reluctantly releases San’s hand, using his hand instead to touch his cock, which was already hard and leaking pre-cum onto his tummy.

“Fuck, yes, fuck please don’t stop,” San cries, overwhelmed by all the sensations.

“Are you gonna cum for me already, baby boy? Will be a good boy and cum for me?”

San scrunches his eyes shut and keeps whining as Sehyoon starts fucking him faster, speeding up his hand touching him to match. San whimpers out a quiet, “kiss me,” and Sehyoon can’t say no, leaning down to kiss him as he feels San cum in between them, some falling on their stomachs and on Sehyoon’s hand, not that he minds at all.

He pulls out, not wanting to overstimulate San on his first time, and rolls off the condom, trying to ignore how painfully hard he is, before throwing it in the trash. San’s eyes are still closed, his long hair having fallen onto his flushed face, and Sehyoon had the devasting thought that shit, maybe Byeongkwan was fucking right. He tries to ignore it though and crawls into bed beside San, who immediately starts apologizing.

“I’m sorry I came so early and you didn’t get to cum…” he said, avoiding Sehyoon’s eyes. “Do you want me to suck you off?” though San made a very tempting offer, Sehyoon refused.

“The most important thing is that you felt good, that’s all I care about.” He puts his fingers under San’s chin and tilts his face up so he can look at him before kissing him again, but much softer than before.

San stays over for hours, the two cuddling for the better part of the first hour, and Sehyoon wishes he had the courage to ask San to stay the night, but he knew that’d be crossing some sort of invisible line he was still too scared to cross. San reluctantly leaves as it nears midnight, giving Sehyoon’s neck a kiss before showing himself out, insisting Sehyoon not get out of the warm bed. He hears the front door close and he immediately grabs his phone, sending a text to Byeongkwan.

_Sehni: you know that guy I told you about last week? I think you’re right, I definitely like him,,,, alsoitssan_


	3. Modern Loneliness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> San just needed a break, and you were more than happy to lend him a shoulder to cry on and copious amounts of candy to eat.

It was Friday night, and Byeongkwan had just left for Sehyoon’s for the night. It had been a while since they had had a best friend night, and with everything going on with Sehyoon and San, Sehyoon needed it. You had asked if San wanted to come spend the night with you, a night full of movies and snacks and homemade facemasks, and he had immediately said yes. He texted a few minutes earlier saying he was on his way to pick up the pizza, so you started gathering the supplies for the night.

You grabbed extra blankets and a stack of DVDs you guys had decided on earlier in the week, putting handfuls of his favorite candy and snacks you had picked up on the table along with some sodas.

Not long after you’re done putting everything out, San texts you to say he’s on his way up, and you get up to unlock the door. He walks in, and you see he’s exchanged his immaculate outfits for black sweats and a tshirt, his long hair pinned back out of his face.

He looks a little tired, but it’s college, everyone usually looks tired, so you try not to think too much of it.

“How much do I owe you?” you ask, getting up to take one of the pizzas out of his hand to carry it to the table.

“You bought all this,” he said, motioning to the snacks and drinks, “so the pizzas on me.”

He smiles his cute soft smile, the one that almost makes your heart soften for him, and you tell him thank you while sitting down beside him on the couch. He opens one of the pizza boxes and grabs a slice of pizza while you reach across the table to get the DVD stack.

“Sorry for sitting and automatically eating; I had an early lunch so I’m really hungry,” San said, picking up the box and offering you a slice, too.

“I’ll get one in a second,” you said, spreading some of the DVDs out on your lap. “I was wondering which one you wanted to watch first? I mean, we both know I’m partial to The Mummy, but I still thought I’d ask.”

San giggles, knowing how much you _really_ wanted to watch The Mummy and said he wanted to watch that one first too, mainly just because he’d heard you talk about it so much and hadn’t seen it. You get all excited and hop up off the couch, quickly putting in the DVD before grabbing the remote and settling back into the couch, eating a piece of pizza while you get to the title screen and turn on the subtitles.

“Get ready to have every other movie be totally ruined for you because nothing will ever come close to topping this.”

San makes a noise that conveys the feeling of “if you say so,” but covers up with a blanket and loses himself in the movie, nonetheless.

Throughout the movie you guys eat on the pizza and snacks, San drinking both of your sodas, and you’re constantly telling him “pay attention to this part it’s my favorite!!” to which he always responds to by sitting on the edge of the couch and staring dramatically hard at the TV.

“What’d you think?” You asked as the credits start to roll, searching his face for the immense excitement that should be there.

“Yeah, it was pretty good!”

Though you can tell he’s trying, you can also tell his heart isn’t really in it.

“Are you okay, Sannie? You’ve been really quiet tonight.”

He sighs and turns his body towards you.

“I don’t know, I guess so… I’m sure Kwan’s told you about that guy I’m –“ he cuts himself off, searching for the right word. “doing stuff with? I guess? God, I sound like an idiot high schooler.” He puts his face in his hands, hiding the blush.

“Yeah, he’s kind of mentioned it,” you admit, scooting closer to him.

“Well it’s Sehyoon,” he says quickly, “and I really like him and I don’t know sometimes I think he likes me back but we’re just friends and I know he messed around a lot so he probably just thinks he’s helping me ‘find myself’ or something…”

You reach for the remote to mute the TV so The Mummy title screen music won’t be playing for the rest of the conversation, and you see San’s eyes getting a little glassy.

“It’s just last week I saw him again and we messed around and he was just so sweet about it and he didn’t make me leave right after, I mean he didn’t ask me to stay but he didn’t ask me to leave either I just decided to, and that’s never happened before but maybe that’s normal because we’re friends?”

You sit close enough so you can wrap one of your arms around him, rubbing it as you listened to him get out all these thoughts he had clearly been holding in.

“I know it’s stupid and I can’t believe I’m crying over something like this but it’s scary and confusing and I’m scared to talk about it because I don’t want to make it into some big thing.”

“Lay your head down in my lap, okay?” you say, scooting back over so he has room to lay down on the couch and rest his head on you. “You’ve known Sehyoon since freshman year, right?” you continue, starting to gently card your fingers through his hair, undoing the pins first so your fingers didn’t get caught. “Do you really think he’s the type of guy lead you on like that?”

San sniffles before answering. “I mean no, not really, but he’s probably not even trying to lead me on. He probably just assumes I don’t have feelings for him like everyone else does.” His voice is small, and it hurts to see San so defeated, for lack of a better word.

“You said it’s different with him though, right? Like it feels different? Maybe it feels different for him, too.” He nuzzles into your lap, calming down as you play with his hair.

“Maybe,” he said, trying to think. “I’m just worried he doesn’t actually want me. Like, doesn’t want _all_ of me, you know?”

“I know, baby,” you say, rubbing his side. “How about you two come with and Kwannie to the arcade downtown next week? We were planning on going, and it can be a lowkey double date kind of thing. As friends. It might be good for you to see how he acts when there’s no chance or expectation of sex?”

“Shit, I have actually been wanting to go to that,” San says, “I think that’d be nice.”

“I’ll try and remind you to text him in the morning. Are you feeling a little better? Do you wanna go ahead and watch another movie or do you wanna talk more about what’s going on with Sehni?”

“Movie,” he says, curling his body up into a little ball and pulling the blanket up under his chin.

You give San’s hair one last little pat before asking him to sit up for just a minute while you change DVDs, putting in The Mummy II. You grab him a piece of his favorite candy off the table before sitting back down and pulling him close to cuddle him, staying close to him the rest of the night and insisting on him sleeping in bed with you so you can cuddle while you sleep, too.


	4. Like Me Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is this a date or just some friendly competition?

Finally, after almost a month, you and Byeongkwan had finally devised a plan to try and get Sehyoon and San to realize just how into each other they really were.

“If they don’t come out of this dating, I’m officially giving up,” Bk says, slipping on his shoes so you can head to the arcade.

“I mean you’ve been telling Sehyoon to confess ever since he admitted it was San and he still hasn’t made a move, so I wouldn’t set your sights too high. Besides, this is supposed to be low-pressure, remember? You don’t wanna freak them out,” you say.

“Maybe you don’t want to freak them out,” he says, standing up to grab his keys. “But I do. At this point I think it’s the only think that’ll get either of them to do anything.”

You roll your eyes, hoping that he really doesn’t freak them out too much, and follow him out the door, texting the group chat with you four that you’re on your way.

_San~: okay, we’re headed out too!_

“Ay they’re riding together?” Bk asks, looking up from his phone as he opens the car door. “That’s a good sign, right?”

You nodded, agreeing with him. The arcade took about 30 minutes to get to, so the fact that they weren’t too awkward around each other to spend an hour round trip in a car together was definitely a good sign.

Meanwhile, across town, San was putting the final touches on his hair and outfit before running out of the apartment and hopping in Sehyoon’s car.

“I hope there aren’t any kids there, all the chains might scare them off,” Sehyoon joked, motioning to San’s two whole chains on his pants.

“Wouldn’t that be better for us, though? We’d have all the machines to ourselves.”

Sehyoon laughs and fiddles with his phone, starting a song that San immediately recognizes.

“Did you finally, after like a year of me bugging you, download a Lauv song?” he asks.

“Maybe,” is all Sehyoon says, trying not to give away the fact he’d downloaded and curated this entire playlist specifically for San. He was always sending him music to listen to, and while there was no promise he’d like it, Sehyoon always listened to every one of them.

San sings along and Sehyoon can barely hear him over the song, but Sehyoon swears he gets louder during the chorus, San’s soft voice singing “I like me better when I’m with you,” repeating in his mind.

The next song comes on, then the next, and by the third San’s figured it out.

“Are these all the songs I’ve sent you?”

Though Sehyoon’s not looking at him, he can hear the shy smile on his face.

“What, did you think I never listened to them?”

“No, I know you I did I just didn’t know you like… paid attention and kept a list.”

Sehyoon reaches over the middle and places his hand on San’s thigh, palm up, wiggling his fingers as a silent plea for San to hold his hand. Thankfully, he obliges, and Sehyoon smiles as he starts singing along with San, the 30-minute car ride going all too quick.

They’re both almost sad when they pull into the parking lot, Sehyoon releasing San’s hand to put the car in park and San notices just how sweaty his hand is and isn’t sure if it’s because he’s nervous or just because Sehyoon’s hand made his too warm, but he does know he really hopes Sehyoon didn’t notice.

They get out of the car and San (and Sehyoon too), sneakily tries to dry his palms on his pants.

“Have you guys been here long?” Sehyoon yells to you and Bk. You two are just standing outside, having just gotten there minutes before.

“No, we just got here. No worries,” you say, waiting for them to reach the door.

Bk opens the door for all you, going in last, while Sehyoon starts to get the pre-paid cards they’d use.

“Go ahead and load two cards with this one, please” he says, handing his card to the cashier. San hits him, asking him “why the fuck” he got two.

“Because,” he says, taking his card back, “you had three hard tests this week and you deserve a treat.”

He hands San his card, and Bk rushes to the front to do yours, refusing to be shown up by a couple that’s not even a couple.

The four of you head over to the skee ball machines, you informally playing against Bk and Sehyoon doing the same with San. Sehyoon was, to be frank, terrible. It was messing San up because he kept laughing at how terrible Sehyoon’s aim was, but Bk was giving you a run for your money. In the end though, you ended winning by two points while San beat Sehyoon by an unspecified amount to preserve his dignity.

Sehyoon and Byeongkwan take their places behind you and San as you two face off, fighting for the title of skee ball champion. They alternate between cheering you guys on and trying to have a conversation about Sehyoon and San, but that conversation only gets as far as a “But his ass looks REALLY good in those jeans,” from Sehyoon.

In the end, San beats you by seven points, evidentially being much better at it when he’s not laughing at Sehyoon.

“Good game,” you said, dramatically extending your hand for a handshake while San excepts it, giggling and saying thank you while Sehyoon wraps an arm around his shoulders in a congratulatory hug.

You haven’t been there long, but they seem to be doing just fine so you and Bk want to get out of their hair as soon as possible. You take this as your cue.

“Kwannie and I are gonna go check out the snack bar!” You say, turning away from the other two. “Don’t let us keep you! Go explore!” You call back.

San looks at Sehyoon, confused at your sudden departure.

Sehyoon just shrugs. “They’re probably going to fuck, honestly. Once you hang out with them long enough, you kinda get used to this kind of stuff.”

San about chokes on his spit, but Sehyoon continues unphased.

“At least I have you to keep me company this time, though! Usually when they do this it’s just me and my phone for an unspecified amount of time.”

San laughs and shakes his head, following Sehyoon as he walks past the skee ball machines to the air hockey table.

“I admit that I may suck at skee ball, but air hockey is a totally different story.”

He inserts his card and the table spits out the makeshift puck on his side, and he backs up his statement by immediately catching San off guard and smoothly shooting a goal.

“Dude I didn’t even know we were starting!”

“Sounds like an excuse if you ask me,” Sehyoon teases, waiting for San to make his next move.

The two play a close game, complete with trash talk, but Sehyoon stayed true to his word and ended up just barely beating San. San definitely has a competitive streak, through he’d be the last to admit it, and refuses to lose so easily, so they go from machine to machine, game to game, nearly alternating who won each time. By the time they got to the last game, a take on Just Dance, they were tied.

They each got onto their square, Sehyoon insisting on dancing to Toxic by Britney Spears, and each swear on their dancer’s honor to win. In the end, San came out victorious, both of them breathing much harder than they felt they should be considering they danced practically every day anyway, but it was worth it.

“I guess that settles it, Kim Sehyoon,” San says smugly. “It seems like I truly am the superior one in this duo.”

He hops off the pad, head held high, and Sehyoon hooks his arm around his, catching him off guard and shattering that cocky aura he just had.

“Photobooth?” Sehyoon said, motioning to the booth right beside them. “If for nothing else, it can be used as a memory of my defeat.”

“I think we can manage that,” San said, leading them over.

They both pick a prop, San opting for big sunglasses and Sehyoon a cardboard sun cutout, and they sit in the booth, having to squish in so that there’s barely any space separating the two, but neither of them minded. They pressed start and started making dumb poses as the camera snapped. The first and second were relatively normal, and for the third one they used their free hands to reach over and squish each other’s cheeks, causing San to have the cutest pout in Sehyoon’s personal opinion and no, Sehyoon did not want to hear any other opinion. For the last, Sehyoon gently turned San’s face towards his and gave him a quick kiss on the lips, catching San off guard, but not in a bad way as he didn’t pull away. Even after they heard the last camera click and the pictures print, San kept their lips connected. Sehyoon put his free hand on San’s cheek, his thumb brushing over his cheek bone gently before pulling back, remembering where they were.

“What was that for?” San asked as Sehyoon dropped his hand.

“It was your prize, for beating me.” Sehyoon smiled and San couldn’t help but feel warm, hating the coolness he felt when Sehyoon got up to get the pictures. They look at them, laughing and blushing when they got to the last one, and Sehyoon gave one copy to San and kept the other for himself, both of them slipping the film strips into their back pockets.

As if on cue, both their phones buzz with a text from Bk.

_Byeong ~ Kwan ~ : we’re probably gonna head out if you guys want us to wait? We were thinking of stopping by and getting some ice cream before heading home._

San and Sehyoon agree to go meet them, and when you and Bk see them walking towards you holding hands, you think you’ve finally done it, but little do you both know poor San is just going to be happy, but also more confused than ever.


	5. Twilight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did you mean it?

_Sannie~ : so this happened ??_

You opened your phone to the text from San, and a second later a picture came through. It was a picture of the film strips from photobooths, and you could easily make out San and Sehyoon in them. At first, you’re confused. They just look like normal pictures, but when you get to the last one you see why. They were kissing, casually and cutely and fully clothed in a photobooth like a couple would. You text him back, mainly congratulating him on such a cute photo and asking if anything else happened.

_Sannie ~: no nothing else happened which is why I’m CONFUSED ! he just kissed me and held my hand on the car ride back and acted normal and we didn’t talk about it_

Before you could answer, another text came through.

_Sannie ~: … we’re going to have to talk about it, aren’t we?_

You confirm his suspicions and give him all the encouragement you can muster, and he tells you he’ll text Sehyoon in the morning. Thankfully, he does.

***

_10:45 a.m._

_Sannie~: can I come over after lunch? Maybe around 1?_

_Sehni: of course, baby. Everything okay?_

San’s heart stutters at the “baby”, even over text, but he tries to keep his cool.

_Sannie ~: yeah. See you then!_

San then puts his phone face down on his desk and gets up to get ready, too nervous to check his phone when it buzzes a few minutes later. He hops in the shower, after all if he was going to ask one of his best friends if he had feelings for him he at least wanted to look decent, and found himself singing the songs Sehyoon had played on the way to the arcade yesterday.

San’s mind wandered as the hot water hit his back, going back and forth between thinking of what had already happened and what may happen if this afternoon went well. Though it’d been weeks ago now, San kept going back to that first time he fucked Sehyoon. He remembers the way Sehyoon’s voice sounded, strained and desperate but still strong and encouraging, how he kept praising him for how good he was making him feel, the way San couldn’t help but think it was such a waste when Sehyoon came over the sheets, wishing he could’ve had his mouth on him instead.

San shook his head to try and snap himself out of it, but it was too late. He could tell he was already hard, just the mere memory of Sehyoon getting him worked up, and he feels embarrassed as he wraps his hand around his dick, hurriedly getting himself off when he may or may not have been thinking of Sehyoon the whole time. He cums, biting his lip to hold back his whines because the fact that he was alone didn’t make it any less embarrassing that he was cumming to the thought of his best friend and he’d be damned if he whined too. The shower made for easy cleanup and he quickly finishes the rest of his shower, knowing he’s spent a lot longer in there than he’d planned.

After towel drying his hair and spending an exorbitant amount of time picking an outfit and going back and forth between his two colognes, he checks his phone for the time. He sees Sehyoon had sent a quick “See you!” (accompanied with a black heart emoji which caused San to smile more than he’d like to admit), and decided he had enough time for a quick lunch.

He makes a bland ham and cheese sandwich, the only thing he’s almost positive his overly nervous stomach could handle and pops a mint in his mouth as he gets his keys and wallet to head out.

The whole drive his hands were shaking, and he tried to distract himself by listening to his favorite songs at almost full volume, but he still kept thinking in the back of his mind, “what if things go wrong?”

He doesn’t remember much of the short drive and when he’s standing at Sehyoon’s front door, waiting for his knock to be answered, he almost feels like he teleported there.

“Since when do you knock?” Sehyoon jokes as he opens the door, ushering the other in.

San just laughs nervously, shoving his hands in his back pockets as he walks in and makes a beeline for the couch.

“I thought you said everything was okay?” Sehyoon said, worry creeping into his voice as he joins San on the couch. “What’s going on?”

San has his hands in his lap and stares intently at his fingers, refusing to make eye contact with Sehyoon.

“I like you,” he blurts out, “not like in a friend way or a I like having sex with you way but like, actually like you. Like want to date you and hold your hand in public and plan elaborate birthday dates kind of like you.”

Sehyoon tried to say something, but San’s word vomit cut him off.

“and if you don’t, that’s fine!” he said, finally looking up. “If this has all just been a joke or you just trying to help me out or liking the sex then I get that, I just couldn’t not tell you.”

“San,” Sehyoon said, gently reaching out to grab one of his hands. “Is that what you thought? That this has just been a joke? I thought you knew I liked you, too…”

In that moment, San felt like the weight of a thousand bricks was lifted from his shoulders and chest.

“I didn’t say anything because I thought it was just an unspoken thing, especially after yesterday,” he continued, grabbing San’s hand tighter after it was obvious he was okay with the touch. “It was never just sex to me. I’ve liked you for forever you just never seemed interested, so I never made a move. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything.”

By the end, Sehyoon’s voice was soft and he felt so terrible for confusing San like this just because he’s a dumbass that doesn’t know how to communicate sometimes.

“Really?” is all San can say.

Sehyoon laughs at him and the semi-glassy looks his eyes have, but the way he can be so dense despite being a whole pre-med major is just one of the 1,000 reasons why Sehyoon loves him.

“Yes, really,” he said, bringing his free hand up to cup San’s face. “Can I kiss you?”

San nods, closing his eyes and leaning in to meet Sehyoon, and Sehyoon kissed him so softly San whined just at the softness of it all.

“Sorry,” San said, pulling back and blushing. “I’m just so surprised, still.”

“Why?”

“Just that you would like me. I’ve never had a girlfriend before, let alone a boyfriend, and all the girls I’m ever with just seem to lose interest after we have sex so I just kinda thought that was all I was good for, I guess.”

“That is absolutely not true,” Sehyoon said, squeezing his hand tighter. “Yes, you are incredibly hot, but there’s so much more to you than that.”

San looks down, too shy to look at him when he’s talking like this, but Sehyoon keeps going. “Like how caring and attentive you are to your friends, how you’re always there for them if they need anything, and the way someone could be having the most terrible day but just seeing you and your smile would immediately make it better, and how you’re so dorky underneath those e-boy looks and how I’m 99.9999% sure that your cuddles and giggles could bottled and sold as anti-depressants. And that’s just what I thought of off the top of my head.”

Sehyoon tilts San’s chin up until they’re eye-to-eye again.

“Got it?”

“Got it,” San replied, softly nodding his head.

“Good.” Sehyoon gives him a little peck on the lips and pulls back, but San catches him and brings him close again.

“Can I get more kisses for being all of those nice things you just said about me?”

Sehyoon just laughs as he kisses San again, maneuvering them so Sehyoon can sit on his lap. It starts out innocent enough, just the two of them slowly kissing and holding each other and telling each other things they love about the other in between kisses, but San bites Sehyoon’s lip and he’s suddenly aware that they’re grinding against each other, though he’s not sure how or when it started.

San takes the initiative, knowing that after their previous conversation Sehyoon might not want to initiate anything immediately, and puts his hands up Sehyoons shirt, sliding them over his bare back and pulling him closer. Sehyoon slips his tongue into San’s mouth and San whines, partially at that and partially at the fact that he’s just now realizing how hard the grinding has made him.

“Sehyoon, please,” he said, his words slurring into the kiss.

“Are you sure?” Sehyoon said, barely pulling back. “We don’t have to.”

“I know, but I want to. I wanna feel you around me again.”

“I’ll be right back,” Sehyoon says, getting off San’s lap to go to his bedroom. He comes back with a bottle of lube and a condom.

“Now, where were we?” He said, situating himself back on San’s lap and undoing his button and zipper. “Do you want me to ride you, baby boy? Would you like that?” He was grinding on San teasingly as he ran his fingers through his long hair, looking down and patiently waited for an answer.

San can just nod, but Sehyoon exists.

“I won’t do anything until you tell me what you want, baby.”

“Iwantyoutorideme,” San feels embarrassed asking for what he wants, but Sehyoon rewards him with a kiss before getting off him again to strip, San following suit without having to be told.

Before San can offer to help prep him, Sehyoon’s squirting lube onto his own fingers, leaning over the table.

“You can just watch,” Sehyoon says as he puts one finger in, slowly starting to finger himself.

San can’t help but touch himself as he watches Sehyoon finger himself, his long fingers looking so pretty as he moans and fucks himself on them.

It doesn’t take nearly as long for Sehyoon to prep himself as it took for San to get prepped, and Sehyoon is back on San’s lap, guiding his cock into him as San lets out choked whines because he was already so sensitive from touching himself.

Sehyoon rested his hands on San’s shoulders as he started to ride him, throwing his head back.

“You feel so fucking good, baby,” he said, digging his fingers in.

Sehyoon felt so good around San that he could barely speak and watching him ride him was almost mesmerizing. He couldn’t help but run his hands over Sehyoon’s sides and chest, admiring how perfect he was in every way to him.

San started to fuck into Sehyoon, hitting his sensitive spot each time until Sehyoon gets too overwhelmed from pleasure and lays against San’s chest, the two wrapping their arms around each other the best they can as San fucks him, constantly having praises and encouragement whispered into his ear or against his neck as Sehyoon kissed it.

“Fuck, Sehni, I’m gonna cum,” San said, fucking him faster.

“wanna see,” Sehyoon whines, squirming against San’s grasp as he pulls himself off his chest to sit up again. San gets shy being watched like that, but Sehyoon keeps telling him how beautiful he is that he can’t help but feel happy too, his face flushing from the praise and from the pleasure. He cums in the condom, moaning Sehyoon’s name and spilling out soft “thank you”’s.

Sehyoon was close too, San stopped him after he came.

“Can I suck you off?” he asks, trying not to come off too desperate as if he hasn’t been thinking about it for weeks.

Sehyoon agrees this time, getting off him and discarding the condom the best he can quickly, and stands in front of San as he puts one of his hands on Sehyoon’s cock and the other on his thigh. Sehyoon was so close that between San’s hand and his mouth, it wasn’t long before he was cumming down San’s throat, not that San minded at all. He swallowed all he could, a few drops falling on his lips as San pulled out which he quickly licked off his lips.

“God how can you be so fucking hot and cute at the same time?” Sehyoon said, sitting down beside San on the couch to kiss him again. He can still taste himself on San’s lips, but he doesn’t mind.

“Thank you for coming over today,” he said, resting his forehead on San’s. “Wanna go clean up?”

San readily agrees, any feeling of cleanliness from his shower earlier gone now, and they pick up their clothes and the condom on the way to the shower. They take a quick one together, or as quick as they can while taking kissing breaks every few minutes, and they both change into fresh clothes before hopping into bed to cuddle before taking their first ever couple picture together, which San sent to you. It was a snapchat of San kissing Sehyoon’s cheek with the caption of “with my new boyfriend, no thanks to you (((((I am 100% just kidding dear god thank you so much)))))”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much if you read this far! I hope you enjoyed it ;-; Feel free to DM me on twitter @seosoft_ to chat or to give me suggestions for anything else you'd like to see me write ~


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